Any Good Parent Gives Their Children A Team of Servants To Face Life With!
First of all, I am a bald man selling hair tonic. No matter what I ever speak about, that is all I will ever be. I love seeking wisdom, and finding wisdom, and I admire wisdom. But I absorb and apply an appallingly small amount of it. I don't shut up though, because I think the 'saying of what is right' is important, though those who both say and do are infinitely more to be admired. (And I do seek to be one who both says and does, but I am a disappointment, even to myself, in achieving this.)
But here is some good available wisdom that has been floating around, I am pretty sure: Parents like to protect and provide for their children, it feels good and is their job. But strangely, one of the eventual jobs of parenting is to mold your child into a useful and productive servant of Jesus who does not need - is not reliant upon - further Earthly parenting. Parents need to parent themselves out of a job to an extent. For one thing, you could suddenly disappear; you could have your heart attack, stroke, car wreck, etc., and suddenly not be there. So then, if that occurs, your child either has enough to proceed forward without you or they might become a reduced, hurt, crippled being, trying to make it through their now more uncertain future without you, without very good habits to help them. Because we do not know the actual future, even our own actual future, parents need to equip their children with a team of crack, top notch servants to face life with, because life usually hands children an existence without their parents' aid and comfort somewhere down the line. We generally out live our parents.
So, equip your children with good habits! Make sure you launch them out into the world with some good armor in the form of deeply ingrained great habits. Make sure they go through life with a small retinue of time tested good habits...powerful habits. Drill it into their minds to be consistent in these habits. It will only make them better, if you are not insanely extreme about it. Just make the practicing of strong good habits their 'normal' from the time they are young. Or, if it must be, introduce it to their lives now...it's not too late if you work it right! And it doesn't have to be a big deal if you don't really practice or haven't really practiced those habits yourself as much as you ought to; you can start now, and also, part of parenting is to produce an improved version of yourself within another human being. (Parents might be parents for 25 or 30 years of their life as they progress through their own lives for the first and only time. So, of course parents can make course corrections in how they parent and in how they live their own lives during this time period. It would be almost criminal if parents did not add good, time tested arrows to their personal and parenting quiver during a 25 year period of their life! We only get a few such 25 periods in our whole life! And that's if we are fortunate enough to be granted that much!) Every good habit is an actual servant of sorts...but even better! A good habit does not need to be fed or clothed or paid like a human servant does, or given days off or be reasoned with when they are feeling stubborn or unwilling. A good habit just quietly toils away for the welfare of its owner. A genuinely good habit is a wonderful sort of loyal lifelong servant. We just have to always give them their due allotment of our time and attention, which needn't be much, really, just steadily provided. Give that much time and attention to your good habits and they will quietly and happily provide for you in any number of beneficial ways. Making you happy or at least better off makes them happy...metaphorically speaking!
Here are some habits that a caring parent can and probably should consider instilling in their child, deeply, and early in their lives:
1.) Teach them about Jesus, teach them from the best source...the Bible, and talk about being a Christian with them. Pray with them as a family, but teach them to regularly pray alone as well. If you are gone, a child that plugs into Jesus frequently and earnestly is hugely provided for no matter what their circumstances might become. Throughout life, always pray. Find value in praying with others as well.
2.) With any money or material blessing they receive, teach them to first honor God with a portion and then save and invest a portion. A young savings habit is much like the young person practicing it: it does not look like much at the moment, but its future potential is amazing! As the young person matures and increases in ability and impact, so do the potential fruits of the habit of always saving and investing money after honoring God. It produces small positive returns in its youth, just as the child often does, but substantial...sometimes even amazing...results in its mature years as your servant, just as a well developed human begins to be ever more able to do. By the time you are ready for big things, your savings habit is too!
3.) Exercise, enjoy physical exertion in reasonably good measure, eat fitting amounts of healthful things, and eat and drink in moderation. Don't eat or drink much at the end of each day. You don't need it just hours before your sleep.
4.) When it's time to sleep, put your cares on a table beside your bed and forget about them until the morning. Always be at peace with your significant other by bedtime if you can. You can not much reduce your problems with your sleep, but you can greatly reduce your sleep with your problems.
5.) When unexpected 'bad' things occur, do not rage in action or thought. And do not blame God. He is good, you can barely spell good some days, right? Address the unexpected problems that find you with the best seeming solutions and realize that all lives hold such moments. Sometimes they may even be tests sent from God to size up your love and loyalty. But many of our problems are just a matter of mankind causing other members of mankind misery. Many (most?) of our problems are self caused. And who among us has not caused unfair and unwanted problems for someone else by accident or through meanness of spirit? Don't hold a grudge. If you have to steer clear of a person that's a repeat offender of your peace and happiness, that is understandable. You can talk with people, but you can't always change them. Make sure it's them, and not you that is really the problem, and if it's them, repeatedly and mostly unrepentedly them, then let them proceed on down the trail. Life can teach them what you never will. But forgive those who ask you to, and those who don't. How many times? Seventy times seven! But forgiveness of harm and continued acceptance of harm need not be the same thing. It's OK to avoid the dog that keeps biting you half of the time, even if you think you know why it bites, and even if it acts friendly the other half of the time.
6.) Consciously practice kindness and love for people and creatures around you. Give Jesus credit, mostly don't discuss kindnesses that you perform...let it stay between you and the Lord. Don't attach your name to every good thing you do, but attach your Saviors name to such things because He is more deserving than you will ever be. Be the 'caring hands' of Jesus to others. And remember, Jesus is not known for cutting off His own hands, though He did let them feel the pain of a nail and He may let you share that knowledge with Him also, almost like friends that have been through the same sort of painful experience together? Maybe you'll laugh about it together later, who knows? Keep yourself 'clean' for the same reason. Should Jesus have 'dirty' hands?
7.) Constantly learn useful and beneficial things you can use to benefit others and yourself, reminding yourself regularly that you still don't know much and should never be 'puffed up' with vain imaginings of how knowledgeable you are. You aren't! It's not just an exercise in pretended humility...you really don't know that much! We never really do! You probably aren't that smart of a human, and humans probably aren't that smart of a creature. Teach your children to remain genuinely aware of this.
8.) Play well with others. Remember, if you oppose a person's expressed ideas for good reasons, they will probably forgive you and soon enough almost forget about it. But injure their pride when you disagree with them and the wound may never heal, even if they eventually should see you were in the right. Accumulate friends and allies and former 'recipients of your assistance in time of need' over time, accumulate those and not enemies and victims. Jesus will be held in higher esteem if we, his followers, behave like that, won't He?
9.) Be tidy. Sometimes tidy a thing or two up in public places. It makes them look nicer, it is an example to those watching and might become their habit also. Once it becomes a normal thing to pick up some litter, etc., the situation improves quickly because a great many people travel our public spaces. Keep your house, car, and work place tidy and it has a very good effect on your happiness in life. And it will generally attract like-minded others to you and to your life.
10.) Take care of someone old, and make sure your child is part of doing it with you. You will be old one day, and your child will be old one day. Many old people don't have the support structure they could have. Old people can give children important life advice and experiences as well. And God speaks about the old as being wise. Be especially respectful to your own parents in front of your children. Honoring your parents is the only one of the ten commandments that came with a promise...a promise of increasing length of life.
11.) Nip medical problems in the bud early, before you have to go to the doctor. But if you have to go to the doctor, go early, not late. Many late stage cures that are nearly impossible would have been early stage cures that were fairly routine and relatively cheap. One stitch in time saves nine. That applies to a host of our life's problems. Why not make sure your children know that saying early and hear it often, with lots of explanations of how it applies? It extols early and pro-active problem solving, which is a wonderful thing?
12.) Take up some inexpensive hobbies that really satisfy you, but which also have dual or triple benefits, and which are hobbies that you can share with others so you can have fun with family or friends part of the time. Some hobbies keep you physically fit also. Some hobbies make a little money also. Some hobbies prepare you for work promotions. Some hobbies allow you and your spouse to bond together, or you and your daughters or sons. Plan regular life experiences with others who are important to you...and enjoy them!
13.) Re-purpose and refurbish things. It can be fun. You'll have a backup 'this, that, or the other'! You can give things away, gift them at holidays. It's a productive and educational use of time.
14.) Get up just a little earlier and prepare just a little more than your co-workers, and the boss will notice. Complain a little less than your co-workers and try a little harder than others to make a success out of your boss's plans and they will probably notice. They will probably start to associate your name with operations that run more smoothly. But it doesn't hurt to make sure they notice, from time to time, that you make it your goal to bring a little more to the table. They might not be aware that you are consciously giving them more than the required minimum. But the less that your co-workers are jealous of you, the better your career will usually go. Appreciative of you is good. Jealous of you is bad.
Did you know:
If a person saves $20,000.00 by the time they are 25 years old and then retires 42 years later at 67 years old, common wisdom says that this money, invested with fairly unremarkable 10.5% returns, will have doubled 6 consecutive times (every 7 years) during that period. Ignoring some taxes, that would be:
Over $40,200.00 when they are 32 years old. If they stopped right there, that would perennially pay them about $263.00/month after 25% taxes on each monthly disbursement. Not all bad! No more electric bill?
$80,865.00 when they are 39 years old. If they stopped right there, that would perennially pay them about $530.00/month after 25% taxes on each monthly disbursement, at 7% annual interest accrual. Not all bad! No electric bill, no car insurance?
$162,665.00 when they are 46 years old. If they stopped right there, that would perennially pay them about $1,067.00/month after 25% taxes on each monthly disbursement. Not all bad! No electrical bill, no car insurance, and one or two week's groceries per month are now free?
$327,212.00.00 when they are 53 years old. If they stopped right there, that would perennially pay them about $2,147.00/month after 25% taxes on each monthly disbursement. Not all bad!
$658,211.00 when they are 60 years old. If they stopped right there, that would perennially pay them about $4,319.00/month after 25% taxes on each monthly disbursement. Not all bad!
$1,324,039.00 when they are ready to retire at 67 years old. If they stopped right there, that would perennially pay them about $8,689.00/month after 25% taxes on each monthly disbursement. Not all bad!
Actual results might be about 25% or 35% less based on taxes you were required to pay. But the main point is that once the $20,000.00 was saved at the beginning, when the person is still only about 25 years old, the rest takes place pretty automatically with very little further effort. The good habit of saving hard could be intensified before the saver turns 25, or extended past their 25th year of age, and produce even better results. But even this one time strong effort early in life ought to really pay off somewhere down the line. Added to Social Security it might allow them to retire way early, in fact.
Have you stopped to think: If you help one single struggling person with each weekly paycheck you get, if you develop that one good and generous habit, that is 52 people a year that had a better life because of you, and 520 people every 10 years, and well over 2,000 people in 40 years. If you do it in the name of Jesus, that is over 2,000 people that give Jesus at least a little consideration in their hearts, because of your efforts. That is a fairly good legacy, though perhaps you could do even better!
Pay off your car and from then on you could put half that much into a fund for buying the next car with cash. Pretty soon you could buy a classic of some kind, which actually go up in value as they age (usually, if driven gently and cared for well). But you will still look kind of distinctive pulling up in it...though without the high cost.
Before buying any pet, consider the ones at the animal shelter. And try to first make sure you can give your pets a good life. A bad year for an animal that only lives for 7 years is like 10 bad years for a human. Imagine having a pretty bad decade!
When people first get jobs where you work that require special clothing or equipment they are often strapped for cash. Being a secret giver - anonymously dropping a hundred dollars in their locker or whatever - is a pretty helpful gesture.
One of the worst feelings is not even having enough money for diapers. Leaving money, unnoticed, under the cheapest package of diapers at the store will often get the money to someone who needs it the most...someone who needs it really badly.
If you save up food until you have about 750 cans of food that is two years worth of one can a day. You'll never use it most likely. But you can take the oldest 15% of the cans to someone needy each year to keep your stock fresh, and replace them. You could take those cans down to a food bank or even better, to a church food bank. Some people are dealing with literal food uncertainty...and some of those are families with children.
Sometimes it is almost a meanness to give a drop of help to someone who needs a gallon of help. If someone who is willing to work gets knocked down by something in life maybe you will be in a position to get them all of the way back up and rolling under their own steam again. Maybe you can occasionally be 'one stop shopping' for someone that is in need of almost everything but can probably become fully functional again if they receive strong support in multiple life areas for perhaps even one or two months while they regain their footing. Every once in a while you may meet a person that meets that very description. If you are worried about your personal safety or security you might be able to work through an agency or a recovery center and sort of meet someone's material needs while someone more practiced at it meets some of the other types of needs, and...voila!...a certain percentage of those helped turn into success stories! It will never be a sure thing. But with such help a person has a strong wind at their back as they try to recover and regain their footing in life.
Saw this: "A failure could become a tombstone, but it can also become a stepping stone!"
"Did the egg shell fail, or did the chick inside finally succeed?"